And we are back! The world's best rugby competition is back for 2021, albeit without the fans to bring the atmosphere.
So, without further ado, here is your week one recap!
Italy 10 -50 France
We start in Rome with the game that no one cared about as France put a fine innings together to complete a half century against a lowly Italian side. This Italian Job was not going to plan as they continued to blow more than just the bloody doors off as the French carved open the Italian backline like a knife through brie.
Antoine Dupont had a man of the match performance with three assists and a try of his own, but still managed to smile less than Trump during his impeachment trial. Teddy Thomas Edison was electric as he shocked the Italian defence with two tries as France finished the match with SEVEN and will be showing Italy’s head in a box to Brad Pitt (spoilers!) after this display.
England 6-11 Scotland
The Red Roses wilted in the late winter rain as the Thistles came down to mark the territory on dreary Twickenham afternoon. Stuart Hogg-ROASTed the England back three as they continually were spinning on a spit as Hogg’s kicking put Scotland within 5m of the English try line on every occasion.Finn Russell Crowe turned to the empty crowd and exclaimed “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?” with another display which was deserving of an audience.
Super Maro Itoje was slipping on banana skins as England struggled to even find a gear, let alone get out of first, as Scotland’s constant battering of the English defence became impossible to counter. Owen Wilson Farrell was sure this performance couldn’t be real, asking himself “haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?”. Spoiler, it was not.
England failed to beat Scotland for the third time in 4 Six Nations seasons as the mighty Scots took the Calcutta Cup home to Caledonia for safe keeping!
Wales 21-16 Ireland
The shock of the weekend came at the Principality Stadium where Ireland handed Wales possibly their only win of the tournament. Peter O’Mahony received a straight red just quarter of an hour into the game after supplying the biggest blow to a person’s head since JFK in 1963 (too soon?).
Alun ‘all I do is’ Wyn Jones came back from a training ground scuffle to lead the re-building Wales to an unlikely victory. Turns out the Irish will be thinking about SEXton more than the average 19 times a day as Billy Burn(t)s his Irish bridges as he failed to make touch on the last play of the game to confirm their fate.
11 points from the boot from Halfpenny sent the Welsh on their way; imagine if he was a full penny! The Welsh now have the upper-hand over England and Italy in the battle for last place!
So, until next week, stay safe!
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